I just wanted you to know, that the greatest gift you have given me is the ability to have a conversation with myself. Prior to CCCF I was a work-a-holic, I viewed motherhood as a duty, and life was just a job. I only read work related materials, my relationships were mechanical and systematic, not personal. I could come to work at8am and not leave until 7pm, pick up my son, give him a bath feed him and read him to sleep. That was my life. Work, kids, dogs and work again.To get through the CCCF workouts I had to speak to myself. I had to think about what I wanted for myself and my kid at the end of the day, I reflected back on my life, stirred up emotions that I had silenced. A lot of times after a workout I would cry in the car, not because I was a baby – but just because I thought some things through and I let it go. I would go home and cook – actually cook. This is a passion that I had shelved for a while, the Paleo diet brought it out of me again. I started reading for pleasure to unwind, I read through the Hobbit and re-read the Lord of the Rings during those 4 months. I planned weekends with my son, we spent a lot more time together. I even went to a few school field trips, something I dreaded before. When my dog died, I felt the emotions. I cried for a week, I talked about it – I didn’t push in my emotions. I even took a couple days off work to deal with myself – which is something I never do.
Last month, I started letting my son see his dad. I decided that my son meeting his little brother and having a relationship with him was more important than the hate I harbored for his dad. I didn’t hold a grudge against the baby, but for many other things. I just looked to the future during a grueling WOD and thought, ‘What is Jojo going to think when he is older and finds out he has a little brother and I am the one who kept him away?’ This is a conversation with myself that I had been avoiding for a really long time.
I also feel like I’m better at work. My door is open now all the time. My relationships here at work are personal, I need to view them as such, at the end of the day we all have the same goals – to live a life of purpose. That is why we are in the Public Health business to begin with. I have started to let things go, I have stopped with the micro management, it was killing me and those who have to work with me. Plus I didn’t have time to go through everything, I had to be at CCCF.
The best thing I take away from CCCF is not muscles and a thinner waistline, but peace of mind. So I would say the greatest gift I got from CCCF is my spirit back. I have taken a lot of Public Health courses, and they all teach the same thing, health is not measurable. Health is a life style encompassing your total wellness, physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually.
Thank you so much for everything. I joined soccer yesterday – my cousin had an opening on her team and I feel this is another opportunity for me to grow.
Thanks! <3 you guys 🙂Melissa M